Damn I'm sorry I haven't writen in a few days, just...I've been having a rough time, my friends cousin has cancer of the lungs but she doesn't even smoke, how awful is that, I pray for her. Man it's so wicked how everything this year was all kool and then fucked and then even more fucked! I mean it's gotten so bad my mother is a fucking bitch straight up and I can't stand her worth a fuck anymore. It all kinda started the day after I got back to Oregon and I called her to let her know I was alright and I made it fine. I still had like 8 mins to talk to her so I said "Well, when I'm done talking to you ima go walk around." she took it as an escape route and said "oh yeah ok! Well have fun, bye. *click*" fucked up huh. Then the other night I called her and was going to ask her about my graduation things, she started bitching about how I was in school and that they weren't even sure I was going to graduate, I'm graduating the 23rd of Feb. fuck them I'm not graduating, anyway, I said "well, lets not talk about that, lets talk about my stuff that I'm going to need." She said alright and then started bitching about it again, then she was all "Don't yell at me, I'll come over there and beat you up." Fuck like she'd even waste her precious money to get over here and beat me up, fuck that. Then she laughed like it was some kind of fucking joke and shit and she made me cry, she asked if I was still there and I said yeah, then I just hung up, I didn't even wanna talk to her. Today too I had to call her and talk to her about shit again, started yelling like a fucker so I said fuck it and just hung up on her again. Anyway I called my sister after that and found out that the money she was supposed to be sending me, she spent. No money for Shino, no fun for Shino. No stogs for Shino. Forget about Shino. I miss my sister, she's the only one I could ever talk to without feeling too fucked up inside. Ouch, my nail hurts and I need a fucking ciggarette. *sigh* I feel so fucked up right now it's not even kool. I kinda feel eased and shit because of the music I'm listening too, it's not my kind of music but I'm loving it, Mccy-D Style. The song I'm listening to now is called Don't Sign your idenity theft I said by iii, pretty cute sounding huh, sad tune, by an artist I knows brother, pretty kick ass shit.
Besides that, I think my ex is getting friendly again, but I want someone else, sad....fuck I just need to get away from everything, I need to drink. Maybe during spring vacation I'll go to Barstow and party with my sister, nothing wrong in that.
Shino †
